Why I haven't posted

I haven't posted in ages. Its just been a difficult few months and I lost my confidence. Counselling was tough. I can't be bothered to go into it now but it resulted in a relapse that lasted from September to December. I quit the sessions and feel a hell of a lot better and I'm sober again. Bizarre. I go and do something to help myself and it ends up nearly destroying me. I stopped meditating, walking and praying. I didn't do any washing up or housework in all that time and you can imagine the state of the place. I was so overwhelmed by life. My food binges got worse then ever as well. Just a nightmare. Towards the end, anything positive I tried to do for myself just bounced off me. But I'm back. Thank God.