Monkey goes shopping

Decided to celebrate my birthday with a meal. Normally I would have plonked for something at a restaurant that I could be comfy in, that is, comfy shoes, trousers or jeans - you get the picture. That all changed when I came across a special offer for a highly rated restaurant in town and decided to go for it. But what to wear because if I turned up in my usual style, I would stick out like a sore thumb. Plus the friend I'll be going with is always well turned out. So I gathered all my mental and physical strength for a bout of clothes shopping. Yuk.

Lovely bargain on some new boots. Discounted in the sales from £90 to £15. Forgot about shaving my legs...

Learnt a lot trying on dresses at M&S. Jersey fabrics look very bad on me, I need a tailored and lined dresses. Normally I would have given up after seeing myself in the jersey dresses which were my first choices cos they're comfy and soft, and gone home feeling horribly depressed, but I was able to be rational. "There will be something that works for you," I thought. It took a while and the little black dress I plumped for was sleeveless and knee length and as I detest my arms and legs for very good reasons, I had to find a solution to both those problems. Opaque tights would hide the leg sins but after wandering round M&S for an hour looking for a jacket or cardigan with no success, I call it a day and head out into the dark evening to find it's snowing.

Determined to assemble my outfit my next stop is Monsoon which is full of chaotically arranged sale items. Too much of a headache to wade through, I flee to H&M. Eventually I find a gem of a little jacket in my size. It's a satin green and cropped and I realise that the boots I've bought won't go. The top half looks really polished, but by this point I'm knackered.

I catch the train home and when I get to my station, I step off into a thick layer of sludge and inch my way slowly home through the snow. Cold and wet, I take all my finds up to my bedroom, dress, and take a look at myself. The boots don't work, but I look surprisingly cute. I fish a little candy stripped cardi from the wardrobe and find that, with the boots, it makes a nice casual outfit.

The following day, today, I head off back to town to find some shoes. wearing my dress in casual mode cos I figured that I'd need to see the shoes with the dress or I could end up making the wrong choice. The snow has melted. My first stop is Clarkes. Nothing at all in my size except a pair of flat plumps which make my legs look dumpy. Back to M&S where they have virtually every style in my size. Heels work best and I eventually find a pair of shoes that are stylish yet comfortable, but I work up a sweat doing it. All the shoes in my size are on the very bottom shelves of the displays and then a couple of styles had the most awkward buckles. I start worrying about my newly straightened hair. You know, I'm not good at glamour. I'm so relieved to be on the train going back home. I tuck into a marzipan bar.