I think I get it

I think I get what this blog is about: fear. A fact that is probably obvious to some casual observers.

I used to be in the habit of meditating first thing in the morning. As soon as I woke I'd sit up in bed, meditate and pray, a kind of handover to the Universe which became God which is back to being the Universe. This practice has been weakening over the past 6 weeks or so. This morning I thought, "Sod it, back to basics. I don't care how poor a meditative practice this is, it works for me." So I handed my life and worries over to the universe and let my mind wander. I felt very good and it struck me. Fear. My fear and thinking that I could think my way out of it. My fear and thinking it was something I needed to 'sort out'. By thinking of it as 'bad' and trying to think my way out of it, all I was doing was living in it and getting deeper and deeper. Fear is a natural response to threat, it is purely a survival mechanism. The question then for me is, is xyz something to be scared of and the answer generally is no. Colleagues at work may be hard work, but they're not a threat to my survival. The roof is leaking but that's not going to kill me. The fact that there isn't a single decent film on at the cinema that I want to see is not about me being a sad sack and not having a life, it's about the fact that there aren't any decent films on at the cinema. If Thursday's event goes pear shape, what the hell. Pears are nice.

Fear. It's always the simple stuff. And working through my fears is what this blog is about.