Been some time

It's been some time since I last posted. I've had a very crap week. Felt suicidal a number of times. Called the Samaritans this morning and back to "normal". I had to get some shit out of my system and no amount of self talk, prayer, meditiation or distraction was going to sort it.

The thing is, now I don't drink and food doesn't do the job as well as it used to, I've got nothing to self medicate with and I'm left with the crap. I never knew what to do with it then and I still don't, but I am learning to talk about it. I've got a couple of assessments with therapists to go to over the next two weeks so I hope I'll find someone I can work with.

Tell you one thing, I'm gonna become a regular Samaritan caller. I'm not allowing myself to go through this again without getting help.