Chasing cats

There's this thing I sometimes like to do. If I'm walking down the street where I live and it's quiet and I spot a cat lurky by the alley way or near a car, I make my stride purposeful and head towards them, slightly speeding up as I get nearer. They look up trying to work out if I'm going to change course or not, their little pussy brains thinking, "Is Monkey or isn't Monkey? Is Monkey or isn't Monkey?" and when they decide I is, a flash of panic crosses their faces and they scarper. Satisfying.

Cat flap

The house I live in comes with a cat flap and I have no cat. I keep meaning to glue it shut as a neighbour's cat keeps popping in and although sometimes it's nice to have a cuddle and a chat I resent him using the place like a cat hotel. I just heard him at the 'door' and my brain has hit on a deterrent. I'm going to stick a shallow pan of water underneath the cat flap. Return of the evil genius. Ha, ha, ha. I'll do this when I have time to wait in for the little bugger. I want to hear him squeal.